I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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