It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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