dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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