Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize