Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
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This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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