she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize