Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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