I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize