They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize