I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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