Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
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I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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