I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize