i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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