john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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