Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I still have a little drunk in my system
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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