I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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