She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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