The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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