so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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