I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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