she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize