i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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