This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize