It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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