im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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