He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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