My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
