Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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