She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize