C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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