he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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