You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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