He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize