Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize