did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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