he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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