so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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