She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize