Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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