Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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