Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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