It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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