He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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