I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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