kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
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Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
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Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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