we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize