I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
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my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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