I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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