i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize