Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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