actually, I'm a sock model
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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