@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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